marriage | And That's A Post

So a few days before Valentine’s Day I had nothing. I knew I’d disappointed in the past. In the very beginning I thought we both didn’t believe in it. I tried a little anyway with a homemade card but didn’t quite pull it off. It ended in tears.

A few days ago I saw her on the Parish Ink website, I like a few t-shirts from but never spent the money to buy, so I knew it was on. We had to makeup for lost Valentines days.

I had nothing and no ideas. Thanks to a little hint from our roommate the night before Vday, I bought her a book she had fallen in love with the other day and had mentioned a number of times she wanted to buy. That was a big thing for her to say because she is a ravenous reader, only buying 1 out of 200 plus books she reads.

I got the book and I got a sexy little Italian leather bound journal for us to write love notes to each other in. I have a feeling the log of sweet love letters will come back to saving our relationship one day:) Being proactive and thinking ahead is what is going to get this thing to forever.

Valentine’s afternoon she couldn’t wait. Right when I got home from work she told me to go upstairs where a sweet homemade card, the beautifully wrapped shirts, a clean room, and long-looming, totally-completed chores were waiting as her present to me. She hit the nail on the head. I am the luckest guy on earth! She is the cutest, most beautiful girl. ¡Qué suerte que tengo!

I, however, couldn’t pull it off perfectly. I asked if she thought it would be okay for me to move the cardinal tetras over to the discus tank and start our Valentine’s Day celebration that evening after our roommate left for her date, implicitly asking to pause the intimate evening for a couple hours.

My wife, to my pleasant surprise, smiled a convincingly authentic smile, and said no problem, to count it as part of her gift to me. Turns out she was terribly frustrated and only feigning acquiescence. Hence, my near-hero status.

After I finished with the fish, I fixed the best orange bell pepper fajita quesadillas with havarti cheese, cayenne, and cilantro possibly ever made. They were amazing. So delicious. We devoured them with avocado, sour cream, and salsa. I was on the mend.

I then surprised her with my gifts. She had no idea I’d gotten her anything. I almost wanted to tell her earlier but chose to let the evenings romance build up over dinner, to the gifts, and beyond.

The book and journal won me quick entry to her heart and arms. I am a sensitive mate after all. Her face lit up with delight. I was a superstar! We then bonded over a chickflick, time in the tub, and a glass of sweet white wine. Success.

Valentine’s Day Eve

So the ancient Maya believed that every 52 years to allow the sacred calendar cycle to end and a new one to begin the priests would have to sacrifice a human and kindle a fire in the empty heart cavity. If they failed, life would cease.

Valentine’s Day is that day every year to a man’s relationship with his girl. We have 24 hours and if we fail to kindle–that fire–that night–it all ends.

So the day we dread is here. We feel excitement, mixed with skepticism, mixed with dread, mixed with fear. We may, somehow, by the grace of god, close our eyes and cross our fingers and manage to pull it off.

The worst part is knowing whether you try really hard or resign yourself to the fact you’ll fail to meet expectations, you have approximately the same chance of disappointing. We know there’ve been hints, outright statements, we should have recognized as such, but we had no way of catching them. They will not be revealed except with tears or in anger after the fact tomorrow evening.

Why it couldn’t have been made guy-clear before hand, we don’t understand. It’s mindnumbing. But at some level, as men, we know the cycle and perform the ritual. It reminds us we married or are with a woman and we love her for everything she is. Had we wanted it to be simple, we could have settled with another straight guy.

Anyway, we have a highly evolved ability to get ourselves out of the doghouse. It ain’t nothing. Valentine can bring it.

In the long run she loves us more for completing the ritual for winning or winning back her heart. In the end we guys made it out with ecstatic sex–for nailing it on the head–or makeup sex for successfully reassuring her of our love for her–despite our terribly disappointing inability to show her the way she thought we’d know to show her.

And in the end, she still believes in herself and in youboth as a couple. It is a relief because there was the tiny chance everything would go wrong, you wouldn’t salvage it, and the relationship would be over, all because of that damn day.

Good luck and god’s speed. We know we’ll need it. Please, share how it goes. Its alway an adventure.